How to be wanted when you are unwanted? How to be productive when you are unproductive? How to be active when you are inactive? I guess this article is just a self-reminder to move and get out of depression before it eats me. YES, yes, you read well, the « d » word. I have no excuse for failing to write one article per month this year, and I can only blame myself. In May, thesis deadlines started to get back at me, and I only realise now how foolish it was to stress for uni when I don’t have a job right now. YOORAYH! I finished uni. congrats? I guess. I did not have time to acknowledge that I completed a double master’s program in my second language and moved abroad for a year at 22 (and learned another language), that stress & depression knocked on my door. I guess I always had high expectations for myself, and these achievements were minimum standards in my head… How weird it is that I feel way more proud of my friends ? I’ve always said that everyone goes on their own path and things happen for a reason, but I am not able to be proud of my own achievements and wait patiently for my time to be hired? What a humbling experience it is to be on the job market right now. « It only has been a few months that you have been applying for jobs, it can take a year you know ». Well guys, I don’t have a year. Aside from my bank account, my unproductiveness kills me. Not being useful and purposeful kills me. Not being wanted kills me. « We decided to not follow with your profile », when you are not experienced enough. « We are happy to have you on the team », when you can be an unpaid intern. « We don’t have the finances right now », when you cost too much due to your double master’s diploma, and AI is only 20€ per month. I guess I’ll have to continue applying, writing cover letters, and facing rejection with the rest of my ego. I never doubt my competence so much. I feel like all my knowledge and skills are worth nothing. WORSE, I feel like my creativity is worth nothing. SO, I need to get my confidence back. I need to be active, I need to be productive, I need to be creative, in order to feel (and be) wanted. I don’t know if there is a correlation here, but I guess that is just how I am going to spend my time for the rest of my unemployment (hopefully not long).
In this special course, I will give you all my favorite activities to do when doomscrolling is not an option anymore. Because avoiding life and its misery by scrolling for 6 hours is not feasible in a long-term vision, even on pinterest when I say « trying to keep myself inspired ». The only use of social media that should be allowed is for the 1st & 2nd activity. The aim here is to disconnect in order to explore, to learn, and to create more.
- Stylism: I love fashion (not a big news here), and I like to help my friends with their style. I have a good eye for pinpointing what would suit them and how to style what they already have in their wardrobe. The use of pinterest here is required, as I make a board per friend. This is, of course, non-remunerative, but what a dream it would be to be a paid personal stylist and shopper (I am already doing this full-time job for myself tho).
- Uncover new subjects: Even though I am a « Know-it-all » kind of person, I actually know little (#humble). But I am curious, and I love to learn. I usually listen to ARTE documentaries or Stephen Bern’s podcast, or read a book about an interesting subject ( recently I’ve been reading a review against speciesism and how humans should chill the f down with their big ego, and I became fully vegetarian after a few pages).
- Just read: no need of learning something. A good fictional story is sometimes necessary to reset your vagus nerve. My fav authors recently are Sally Rooney, Coco Mellors, and Han Kang. I would love to start Rachel Cusk’s books as well. I don’t read a lot in french, but I loved all the David Foenkinos’ that I read (basic but easy/quick to read, well written, and a little moral in each book). Add me on Goodreads :))
- Be artsy: When I say art, I mean « do something with your hands ». It can be drawing, sewing, doing pottery, or playing music. I personally love painting, drawing, and just coloring. It calms my nervous system in a way I cannot explain. I am also really impatient, so doing stuff with my hands could really piss me off. But there is a great feeling of pride when you are done with a project you created with your bare hands. I also love to see my friends create their stuff, like my friend Prune, who does her own jewellery or cyanotype projects. I don’t think there are « creative people », I think everyone is creative but just needs to find what art and how to develop it more.
- Learn a new language: because it is not that hard…on a young brain. Enjoy your neuroplasticity at its fullest. Learning a new language enhances both your knowledge and self-confidence. Being able to understand when a stranger talks to you and communicate with them is the greatest proof of respect towards their culture, country, and human state. It is also super enriching for yourself to discover a new way of thinking and challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone. Five minutes of Duolingo per day keeps the howl away. No, but seriously, you also have alternatives if you are scared of birds. Such as school books for starters, or if you want to deepen your knowledge of one language, I suggest switching your daily life to it. Change your phone language, watch series, or just listen to podcasts and music in that language. Being in immersion is the easiest way to learn because your brain doesn’t have a choice.
- Play in my room: like a child, yes. Even though I mostly live on a suitcase these months, I do have a bedroom full of stuff that I love, in an empty & quiet apartment. I just think we don’t play around in our rooms anymore. I know all the activities above are doable in a bedroom. But when I say « play in my room », I mean literally « play ». I like to use my stationery, writing things I will never read again in a notebook that I will never open again. I like to associate my clothes together, create new outfits that I will probably never wear. Stack jewelry that I never stack. Do my makeup in a way I never do it. The aim here is to find usefulness in useless actions. Rather than spending time with the one you love, spend time with the things you love. #materialist
- Hop on the mat: or just move in any way. I personally love yoga, and I have the best personal teacher ever (my mom). How lucky I am to be able to move my body in any way I can. I have a flexible, young, and healthy body. I know it won’t last, so I’d better enjoy it while I can. I also like walking. I love to walk around my mom’s neighbourhoods since there are fields filled with cows and their calves. You can also go running, swimming, or prepare yourself for an HYROX if you need some deadlines to move your ass.
- Selling stuff: I meannn, I need money…Vinted has been my ally recently (fnnfml if you want, reader’s discount can be applied :)). I have been selling everything I can get rid of (mostly clothes lol). It is also a new way to make space and be lighter when I’ll be moving out to start my career at a job that fulfills me, in a city that I love with cute vintage shops, bike lanes everywhere, and veggie options at every restaurant #manifesting.
- Cooking: as I mentioned, I became veggie a few weeks ago. Even though it is super recent, I have lowered my consumption for 6 years now. First it was budget reasons; then, environmental reasons really played a big role. Now, it is for animals’ well-being that I am mostly doing it. It is hard to stop radically ( I’ll deeply miss sashimi & meat-fillings in any kind of dumplings), but it feels like a need right now. I want to respect my own ethical values. Therefore, I am learning way more veggie recipes. I already consider myself a really good chef, but I want to expand my knowledge of veggie cooking. If you have any recommendations, I am open to everything.
- Connect: loneliness is the worst thing for your mental health. We are social beings indeed. Even though I mentioned all activities above as a one-person thing, it can be done with others. I just feel like it is hard to sync a routine with others during this unemployment period. Therefore, I either see my friends by adapting myself to their routines or by getting in touch with other unemployed people. There is something reassuring about understanding that you are not alone in this period of transition, and it is not that « the job market doesn’t want you », but more like « the job market doesn’t want anyone ».
Well Well Well. I hope this course has given you ideas on how to entertain yourself if you are unemployed, or it was a good reminder that your studies or your job is not the only thing that defines you. Of course we can still create, learn, move, cook, read, exist even when nobody is paying us to do it. I don’t like the question « What do you do for a living? » that someone asks you the first time you meet. It implies that the first interesting thing about yourself is your job, which is not supposed to be. Let’s change it to « who are you? » or « what defines you? ». I hope next time this question comes up, you will be able to answer with your favourite movie, book, or music, or the latest art you made, or your personal ethical values and the causes you fight for. I just hope for social interactions to be more social and less societal. I still want to be wanted, I still want to be hired, I still want a job, but perhaps in the meantime I can be myself rather than my resume.
If you read this, hire me…..please.
See you next class,
Fanny ;))